[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

182 C ROSS R OADS
alone? Whatever you do, in the end you only meet up with
yourself again; it s like being surrounded by mirrors: wherever
you look, you meet up with your own face, your own tedium,
your own loneliness & If you knew what that s like! No,
Rç~ena, I don t want to talk about myself. But I m so glad
you re here, so glad this has happened! Look how many stars
there are; do you remember how once, when we were small, we
watched for falling stars?
 I ve forgotten, Rç~ena said, raising her pale face toward
him. In the frosty darkness he saw her eyes shining like stars.
 Why are you like this?
Seized by the cold, shivering, he stroked her hair.  Don t
talk about the money. It s so good of you to have come to me!
Oh Lord, how glad I am! It s as if a window had opened &
among all those mirrors! Can you imagine? All that time I was
concerned only with myself! I was sick of myself, I d grown
tired of myself, I had nothing else & No, it served no purpose.
Do you remember what you wished for that night the stars
were falling? What would you wish for today if they were
falling again?
 What would I wish for? Rç~ena smiled sweetly.  Some-
thing for myself & Yes, and something for you, for something
to come true for you.
 I have nothing to wish for, R ç~ena. I m so glad that I ve
rid myself& Tell me, what arrangements have you made? No,
tomorrow I ll find you a nice room with a good view, all right?
From here, you can only see into the courtyard; in the daytime,
when no stars are shining, it s a bit depressing. You need a
more open view, so that you can have a better&  Enlivened by
excitement, striding about the room, he began to plan the
future, enthusiastic about each new detail, laughing, chattering,
promising all sorts of things. An apartment! a job! money! all
would be forthcoming. The main thing is that it be a new life!
He sensed her eyes shining in the darkness, smiling, following
him with their intense brilliance. He could have laughed
MONEY 183
outright with joy, and he didn t stop until, exhausted, overcome
by happiness and too much talking, the two of them enjoyed
long respites of silent understanding.
At last he made her lie down; she did not resist his
comical, motherly solicitude, which did not allow her to thank
him, but when he raised his head from the piles of newspapers
in which he was looking through advertisements for rooms and
realtors, he found her eyes fixed on him with an enthusiastic,
formidable brilliance, and his heart was wrung with happiness.
Thus did morning find him.
Yes, it was a new life. He was no longer sick and
exhausted, now that he was bolting down his dinner and racing
through countless inspections of rooms, coming home sweaty
as a hunting dog and happy as a bridegroom, and then
devouring piles of extra work at night, until finally he fell
asleep, worn out but elated by a rich, full day. Still and all,
he d had to settle for a room without a view, a loathsome
room, upholstered in plush and sinfully expensive; he placed
Rç~ena there for the present. Sometimes, admittedly, he was
seized in the midst of his work by a fainting fit, his eyelids
would tremble, and the dizziness would make sweat break out
on his suddenly pallid brow; but he succeeded in mastering it,
set his teeth and laid his forehead against the cool desktop,
saying resolutely to himself: Bear up! You must bear up! You
are no longer living for yourself alone  In truth, he did get
better as the days went by. It was a new life.
Until one day he received an unexpected visit. It was his
other sister, Tylda, who lived somewhere just outside the city
and was married to the owner of a small factory that wasn t
doing well. She always called on him when she came into the
city  she did all the business traveling, took care of everything
herself. She always sat with her eyes cast down and to the side,
and used frugal words to talk about her three children and her
thousands of troubles, as if there were nothing else in the
world. Today, however, she alarmed him; she was breathing
184 C ROSS R OADS
heavily, struggling in her web of endless troubles, and her
fingers, disfigured by writing and sewing, touched his heart
with harsh sympathy. Thank heaven, she said, the children are
healthy, they re good children, but the plant is idle, the [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

  • zanotowane.pl
  • doc.pisz.pl
  • pdf.pisz.pl
  • alwayshope.keep.pl

    •