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I could have purred as his hand ran along my cheek, if I could
have moved.  His hair matches his temperament. Intelligent,
passionate; a slave to his emotions.
I wasn t before. Emotional that is. I was always controlled and
concerned. I knew where I was and what was expected of me. I was
a good Catholic boy ... until I fell in love. Hard. Why didn t he love
me back the way I loved him? Isn t that the way it was supposed to
be? It s the way all those TV and movies showed it. You declared
your feelings and your lover gave them back. Weren t you supposed
216
Derekica Snake
to bask in the shared love? I shared him with Eldon because it was
a necessity, but not with anyone else.
He wrapped me up in his arms. His chest was wide and steady
as he carried me out of the master bedroom. I didn t care where he
was taking me. I had him all to myself. The way it was supposed to
be. All too soon I felt the softness of a mattress under my ass.
Henry laid me out on the bed. The mattress shifted slightly as he
settled beside me.
 Mein Lieber. It is by chance that we have met but I believe
that the hand of fate brought us together. There are so many things
I want to gift to you but you are not someone who takes gifts as if
it s your right. You earn your own way. That is a big reason why I
admire you so much. Others would not have the strength to stand
on their own much less strike out on their own.
His hand ruffled my hair.  If I had known that you were out
there waiting...I never should have fucked you. I know your face
when it is lost in pleasure. The flush of desire under your skin. The
sweet cries of your voice. I have known you in the carnal sense and
I regret it.
Shut up. I don t want to hear this again. Again? The pain in my
chest grew exponentially. I loved Henry. He was supposed to give
me his heart to cherish. He wasn t supposed to regret embracing
me.
 I see you in my mind s eye, writing under Eldon s
ministrations but watching me. A hand stroked my stomach,
slipping under my shirt to touch my warm flesh.
 To keep you just as a toy is wrong. You can be so much more.
You will be so much more. That is why I made you my son. I leave
this empire I ve built to you. Women find me repulsive. Even my
money cannot make me so appealing. I can spot gold diggers within
the first second. You were never that. For someone who has always
done without, my money didn t impress you. That is a rare
commodity in this world, mein Lieber. You are so beautiful to me.
Your body. Your temperament. Your brilliant mind.
Familiar lips caressed mine. A sweep of tongue and then my
jaw was urged open. He gave me a full on passionate French kiss.
Whatever the hell Eldon did had paralyzed me. I lay under Henry s
embrace accepting his kiss, limp and wanting, when I wanted to
wrap my arms around him.
217
My Hostage My Love
 You have the most beautiful mouth I have ever tasted. His
fingers stroked my lower lip.
 You need to move on. I am an old man. You have your whole
future head of you. I won t hold you back. I won t hold you like a
street whore again. You are destined for so much better than that.
Henry leaned over and pressed a kiss to my forehead.
 Lovers come and go. Sons are forever. You need to forget
me, mein Lieber.
Forget me. Forget me. You need to forget me. Tears were
streaming down my face. Henry s photograph was crumpled in my
hand. I had wanted to make him my world. Instead he wanted to
give me  the world.
And what did I do?
I forgot him. I replaced him. I shifted on the bed and the book
safe slid off and landed on the floor. The marble bounced and
rolled free to stop in the middle of the room. I reached out to him
because I believed he wouldn t reject me. He slapped me down. So
I reacted like the rabid beast I was.
I searched for someone he would covet.
I hunted down weaker prey. Someone so fucked up that they
would never think of abandoning me. My breathing got shallow. I
found two. Olga and Erik. They wouldn t let me go because I made
sure that they couldn t let me go. I turned to Erik because he was so
damaged. He made me his world and he had no qualms about
letting me know that.
I slipped off the bed to my knees. Slowly I crawled toward the
small marble. It was my treasure. My fingers plucked it from the
carpet. It was blue green. It was azure. My Azure.
I thought I was the victim. I played the wounded prey but it
was all an act. I was the predator. I closed my fist around the azure
marble and held it even though my hand was shaking.
I set out to punish Henry. I shoved Olga in his face using her
as a sacrificial lamb that he could destroy if he was jealous enough,
if he wanted me enough and when she didn t faze him. When it was
clear that he didn t care that I had such a beautiful woman in front
of him, I knew that she wasn t what I needed to make the man I [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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