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It was less awkward than I d feared. Alibek and Lauria got along very well
when they didn t think too much about the past. Lauria was sad and distracted,
grieving for her mother and thinking about the destruction she d brought.
Alibek treated both of us like sisters.
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The clan was busy getting ready for winter and dealing with all the new
arrivals. Our yurt had space for more people, but the elder of the clan didn t
trust us not to give the blossoms tips on passing the tests, so he didn t put
anyone in with us. The elder knew that we had freed the river, but he didn t
tell anyone else, so neither did we.
Despite the war and the flood, it was a very peaceful couple of weeks.
Having Alibek treat me like a sister was a relief at first. Thinking about the
kiss we d shared still made me blush.
But as the days passed, I began to think again about how nice it would be not
to feel terrified. Late at night, in the dark of the yurt, I ran my palms over
my skin and imagined someone else s hands touching me. Back in the harem,
Meruert and Aislan sometimes felt pleasure. I had wondered if part of me was
broken and that was why I
always hated it. I decided in those nights that I was not broken. At least not
anymore.
But did I want to share Alibek s company? That evening in Penelopeia, it had
seemed so reasonable. We were both former concubines. We were comfortable
together because of all we d been through. But now that I was back with a
clan, surrounded by families, I remembered that Alashi couples were supposed
to marry if they were going to have a child together. They were supposed to
stay together at least until the child was old enough to go off and join a
sisterhood or brotherhood. I knew ways to avoid pregnancy, but they weren t
foolproof. Did I like
Alibek enough to have a family with him? Of course, right now I was living
with him, and it wasn t too bad. He was even courteous to Lauria. That was a
good sign.
A week before we were to ride out for the fall gathering, Lauria invited me to
go riding with her. We borrowed horses, packed food and water, and headed out
in the early morning. We rode for an hour or two, then stopped to rest. I saw
a rockslide and Lauria picked up a piece of karenite.  They say merchants
still buy it, she said.
 For how much longer?
 Who knows?
 What do you think the Alashi will do once everyone realizes it s not valuable
anymore?
Lauria looked up at the sky.  I think we ll see a lot more overland merchant
caravans, like the one the sisterhood met last summer. Even if no one wants
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karenite, people will still want silk and the other stuff you can buy beyond
the edge of the Empire.
 Are you thinking the Alashi will turn to banditry?
 No, I m thinking they could offer to guard the caravans from bandits, for a
fee, and sell them water and other supplies that they ll need as they pass.
 I suppose.
 Anyway, that s not why I dragged you out here. I wanted to talk. She swatted
a bug.  Do you and Alibek need me to move out?
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 What?
 I ve seen the way you look at each other. But you never touch. I was just
wondering if maybe you needed some privacy.
I blinked.  I uh you don t have to move out.
 Are you sure? Because if that s not it, what s the problem?
 It just seems so complicated, I said, finally.
 Life is short, Lauria said.  Don t waste too much time thinking about how
complicated things are.
I looked up at Lauria. Alibek had thought I might desire Lauria, and I
wondered suddenly if she desired me. But I
saw no hint of that in her face.  You re a good sister, I said.  Did you ever
want to be, you know  My voice failed me.
Lauria took my hand and looked into my eyes.  Where I came from, blood
sisterhood didn t mean that you were sisters in a way that would make it wrong
to desire each other. But when we first met, you seemed very young to me.
While I was in Penelopeia, I longed to be with you, but what I wanted was your
company. If we had taken a different path together, maybe& but I can tell that
you love Alibek. And you know, between us, we could really use a larger
family, don t you agree? Some kin-by-marriage for each of us.
I felt a sudden relief, though I hadn t thought I was worried.
 You love Alibek. I don t know what s holding you back, but try not to let it
chain you any longer.
When we returned to the camp, I sought Alibek out. He was whittling a whistle
for one of the children, and I
waited until he had finished before I spoke.
 I m ready, I said.
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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
L
AURIA
W
hen fall gathering came, Ruan invited Tamar and me to stay with the
sisterhood, for old times sake. Alibek had been invited to stay with his old
brotherhood, and wanted to see the men from the brotherhood again, so the two
agreed to separate at least for a few nights. They had a whole winter ahead to
spend together. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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