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"I wish I had that on tape because you know he'd put you
saying 'spanking it' on a loop and play it repeatedly."
"Whatever. The point of my conversation is not what would
entertain Aaron's feeble mind but what you're going to do
about the fact that you sit by yourself and stare at things that
remind you of him."
"I do not sit by myself and stare!"
"Then what are you doing right now?"
"Doing my breathing exercises so I don't go out there and
kill your child."
"Yeah, okay."
"Okay."
"Between you and Aaron, I'm in a stupid sandwich."
"If you were between me and Aaron, you'd be in porn."
"Well, that could be fun, too, but I have a mission here,
and it's not breaking into porn... although, don't you think
Aaron would be perfect in a porn? He could make a lot of
money."
Jake scowled at her.
Alyson raised an eyebrow and starting walking around
nonchalantly picking up things and setting them down as she
began talking again. "Seriously, he's gorgeous, and the gays
love the pretty boys. I bet he's pretty bendy, too, with that
long lean body. Yep, I bet he's bendy. And the mouth on him,
I bet he can talk dirty with the best of them. I mean, he talks
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dirty in everyday conversation; could you imagine him in the
bedroom? Fuck me. Oh, and those legs, those are perfect and
long and could wrap around you and pull you down and...
mmm, yeah, perfect for porn. I'll have to ask Matt his
opinions, you know, since he's sampled the goods. And
repeatedly, from what Flip has told me."
Jake's eyes took on a dark look at the mention of Matt. He
got up from where he was sitting on the floor and tried
walking away from Alyson as he threw over his shoulder
sarcastically, "Well, if Flip says... what else does Flip say? I'd
really love to fucking hear every minute little detail. I can't
get enough of how Flip moons about Matt to you. I'm at the
fucking edge of my fucking seat."
"I think he's in love with him."
Jake turned on her instantly and practically yelled, "He's
not!"
"How do you know he's not?"
"He's not," Jake growled.
"Yes, but how do you know Matt's not in love with Aaron?"
"Matt? Matt... I thought you meant Aaron."
"Yeah, I know that's who you thought I meant," Alyson
said, "and do you want to know how I know you thought
that?" Jake turned away from her again to fiddle with a
camera. "Because whenever anyone gets within a ten-foot
radius of him, you go insane. Any time someone even dares
to suggest there's anyone in his life other than you, you go
insane. Any time he's not within touching distance, you go
insane. And any time you think he's falling away from you,
that he's not there, you go insane. You've put your whole life
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into him; what do you think that means, Jacob? How can you
possibly explain that and not make it sound like he's the axis
your world spins on? Because if you can explain him away,
and everything you feel for him away, then I'd like you to tell
me how you function without a heart."
"I don't function without a heart," he said angrily and then
added under his breath as he grabbed at the front of his T-
shirt, "He's right here."
"What was that?" Alyson asked as she crept closer.
"I don't function without a heart."
"I heard that part."
"That's it; that's all I said."
"Fine. That's all you said," Alyson said in frustration, "I'll
let you believe that's all you said."
Jake watched Alyson as she stomped out of his studio, and
he began to absently rub at the spot in the center of his chest
that suddenly felt as if it were on fire and was slowly caving in
on him.
"Momma! Unc Dake!" Milo yelled from the kitchen.
Alyson was already on her way to the kitchen when she
heard Milo call. "What is it, honey?"
"Unc Fip's wants Unc Dake to come get him in the
eletator," Milo said as he pushed himself off his chair and
walked the phone over to Alyson. She was about to take the
phone out of Milo's hand when she heard Aaron yelling
through the receiver.
"Moz! Come and get me!"
Milo giggled. "Unc Fip said to hold the phone at Unc Dake
and he yell real loud."
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"Your Uncle Flip is a moron, Milo; remember that."
Before Alyson could grab the phone from her son, he put it
back to his ear and said, "Momma says you a moron." Alyson
watched as a smile broke out on Milo's face, and then he
turned to her and said, "Unc Fip says you a vewy bootafull
lady and he gonna hug and kiss you when Unc Dake brings
him the eletator."
"Yeah, I bet he said that." Alyson grinned as she took the
phone from Milo's hand. "Quit telling my son to lie to his
mother."
Jake chose this time to shuffle into the kitchen, still
rubbing at the center of his chest. Milo came over and hugged
his leg, and Jake reached down to pat him on the head. "Is
that your Uncle Flip on the phone?"
"Yep, you gotta get him in the eletator."
Jake smiled at the "eletator."
"Tell him I'm coming," he mouthed to Alyson as he walked
out the door.
"Your hero is coming to get you, ya wuss. ... No, the
elevator cable will not snap halfway up, that was a movie,
Aaron. ... No, you won't go crashing to the bottom of the
elevator shaft with Keanu Reeves and Dennis Hopper with an
ugly hand. ... Trolls do not live in elevator shafts; there's no
such thing as trolls. ... Because I know. ... No, there aren't
... I will not ask Milo if he believes in elevator trolls."
"Are there eletator tolls, Momma?"
Alyson sighed. "Great, now you've scared my son." Alyson
listened to Aaron for a second, then turned to Milo and said,
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"They make cookies, honey. They're like the Keebler Elves on
TV."
"Oh. Okay," Milo said agreeably and went back to his chair
to color.
Alyson walked out of Milo's hearing range. "Where the fuck
do you come up with this shit? Elevator trolls that make
cookies? Honestly Aaron, I worry about you. ... Yeah, I do,
you're seriously insane. ... I said insane, not in pain, you
dumbass. I could make you seriously in pain. ... No, kicking
me first will not help. Isn't your bitch down there yet to get
you? I'm tired of having this conversation; your mind is
draining mine of all its smart cells. ... Yes, I do have them. ...
No, you don't. ... He's there? Fucking finally! ... No... no...
no... hang up now, Aaron. ... Hang up. ... Yes, I'll see you in
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